I am now almost a week late. No, not my period. I’ve been meaning to blog the Beltane festivities at Butser Ancient Farm since I went there last weekend. I took nifty photos of the wicker man burning, made my own twig staff with a star on the top, and everything. Then on the way home, everything kind of died. again. I can’t even think about trying to escape. The chains are far too thick.
The Pit seems almost reassuring by now. When I’m there, I reach an altered state of consciousness in which I experience moments of perfect calm. Clarity. I see what is, but the insight isn’t painful. No blame, no guilt, no wishes, no fear. No Id. Just Ego, in the Freudian rather than popular sense.
[Interjection to quote Wikipedia: "In Freud's theory, the ego mediates among the id, the super-ego and the external world. Its task is to find a balance between primitive drives and reality (the Ego devoid of morality at this level) while satisfying the id and super-ego. Its main concern is with the individual's safety and allows some of the id's desires to be expressed, but only when consequences of these actions are marginal. Ego defense mechanisms are often used by the ego when id behavior conflicts with reality and either society's morals, norms, and taboos or the individual's expectations as a result of the internalization of these morals, norms, and their taboos."]
When I’m stressed beyond a certain point, I shut down.
But, as Peter Falk said, “She doesn’t get eaten by the eels at this time.”
Coming up next: MI does the Wicker Man at Butser ancient Farm.