Machiavelli Id

I'm a full-time writer, occasional alt model, a bit of a geek & a professional amateur. This is my blog. Tweet @machiavelli_id to get in touch!

 
 June 9, 2012  Posted by at 13:41 Machiavelli Id goes forth  No Responses »

image

This group of four ducks appears to have taken up residence at the park over the road. They’ve been there for at least a month.

It’s super cute, but I’m a bit worried about them – shouldn’t they be closer to a body of water? What are they eating?

Anyone know anything about ducks?

 
Happy Jubilee, Your Majazzle!

Dear gods, I don’t know what to say about this. Um, what better way to celebrate Her Royal Majesty’s 60th everything than by sticking some crown-shaped sparkles to your lady garden? Srsly? Your bedazzled mind must be fried, but hey, it’s your call. And it’s nowhere near as worrying a political statement as the Obama-headed dildo I saw a couple of weeks ago. If you really want to get one of these, you’ll find them for sale at Lovehoney for a fiver, along with a huge pile of sexy stuff for women, men and couples. Please, don’t send me your photos. [...]

 
Tampax: Excessive Packaging Fail

The Tampax Multi-Pack: 3 different absorbencies in one handy box! Not really. It just has three smaller unprinted boxes inside the bigger branded box. What a waste of tree-corpse. Even if it’s all recycled and recyclable, what a waste of energy. It all has to be manufactured and transported. You know, I’ve got no issue with the colour coded individual wrappers. They’re hygienic and they help me find the absorbency I want. But why box them up like that? I could have coped if they were all loose in the one box. Tampax, you disappoint me. With you I can [...]

 
Cute Photo Alert! A Toddler Stole My Keys

For as long as mankind has had keys, babykind has been fascinated with those keys. They’re an interesting, possibly shiny or jingly, definitely biteable or suckable toy to any tiny mind seeking entertainment. By the time they’re toddlers, kids think keys are even more magical. Not only fun but also a tool for opening exciting boxes or –even better!– doors and windows onto the outside world. Plus the keys are clearly important to the grown-ups, which makes stealing them or hiding them much more satisfying. My Toddler, My Key Thief Hmm, these look interesting… is that a beetle preserved in [...]

 
Jubilee Xbox 360 Celebration Pack: Union Jack Skins

Just seen that the leaked news last month about a special edition Union Jack Xbox 360 package has been confirmed by Microsoft. It’s the same white hardware and extra stuff as you get in the older Xbox 360 Family Pack: a white 4GB Xbox 360 S console a white Kinect sensor 2 white wireless controllers Kinect Adventures Kinect Sports 3 months’ Xbox Live Gold membership The only extra to what they’re calling the “Celebration Pack” is that it comes with free Union Jack skins for all the hardware, so that you can make it look like this: That means you [...]

May 022012
 
Blu Tack Porn

We found this creatively pornographic use of Blu Tack on our way to the local duck pond the other day. Nice recontextualisation of the existing cup-mark-like features of the wall. Sorry the photo’s a bit blurred – I was being pulled along by a toddler at the time.

 
New Graze Food: Pears (Get A Free Snack Box!)

The new Graze.com snacks with dried pear are fantastic! And you can get your own box for free if you haven’t tried them yet – use code XF1RCB8. The one in the photo is “Poached Pear”; the main ingredients are pear, sultanas, vanilla pumpkin seeds and lemon infused sultanas. The pumpkin seeds are sweet, sticky to the touch, and taste like they should be a lot less healthy than they actually are. The fruit is tasty and tangy, and I’m surprised I’ve never tried dried pear before until this week. It really is awesome. On Tuesday I tried the new “Pear Tatin”, [...]

 
The 80s Are Still Not Going Away: Madonna, Teenage Kicks and Me

I remember as a pre-teen wearing head-to-toe black (the closest I could get to a grown-up look, styling-wise) and two enormous black eyes of eyeshadow to channel Madonna for the summer camp talent show. We danced badly but aerobically to “Like A Virgin“, not having a clue what the lyrics meant. I’d seen Madonna in Desperately Seeking Susan and she was the coolest of cool. In the time since then, she’s rocked some deeply dubious looks [including the rarely spotted "squatting-naked-with-a bottle-of-mineral-water"], but the 80s are back [still, FFS] and Vogue just published an online gallery of her styles through the [...]

 
Happy Friday 13th! Here's What Happened Last Time...

OK, as I’m writing this, tomorrow will be Friday the 13th of April. By the time you read it, that’ll be today. I Don’t Believe In It I normally mock the whole Friday 13th superstition, mainly because there’s not much proof of it existing before the nineteenth century (and I’m pretty sure if it was really unlucky, people would have noticed before then). It all has an edge of obsessive-compulsive disorder that I don’t feel any need to engage in. And the Friday The 13th films haven’t helped it either. To be a snob about it, I think it was the [...]

 
Suburban Nature Spotting: Bluebells

Mini-MI and I found these classic Easter-time flowers just down the path among the council flats. Bluebell season is one of my favourite times of year. They grow better in the woods, though. Someone may well now show up and inform me that those aren’t bluebells. I don’t know if they officially are or not, but they look close enough for me, even if they’re actually something else. Want to grow your own bluebells? You can buy bluebell seeds online and plant them somewhere with a good amount of shade. They smell nice, and insects like them so you might [...]

bedroom bondage and sex toys