Happy Jubilee, Your Majazzle!

Dear gods, I don’t know what to say about this. Um, what better way to celebrate Her Royal Majesty’s 60th everything than by sticking some crown-shaped sparkles to your lady garden? Srsly? Your bedazzled mind must be fried, but hey, it’s your call. And it’s nowhere near as worrying a political statement as the Obama-headed dildo I saw a couple of weeks ago. If you really want to get one of these, you’ll find them for sale at Lovehoney for a fiver, along with a huge pile of sexy stuff for women, men and couples. Please, don’t send me your photos. [...]

 
The 80s Are Still Not Going Away: Madonna, Teenage Kicks and Me

I remember as a pre-teen wearing head-to-toe black (the closest I could get to a grown-up look, styling-wise) and two enormous black eyes of eyeshadow to channel Madonna for the summer camp talent show. We danced badly but aerobically to “Like A Virgin“, not having a clue what the lyrics meant. I’d seen Madonna in Desperately Seeking Susan and she was the coolest of cool. In the time since then, she’s rocked some deeply dubious looks [including the rarely spotted "squatting-naked-with-a bottle-of-mineral-water"], but the 80s are back [still, FFS] and Vogue just published an online gallery of her styles through the [...]

 

Someone who I used to like, then didn’t like at all, then didn’t really think about either way, used to have a T-shirt with this quote on it and a picture of some despondent bakery items. Despondency has hit the bakery. I didn’t like the T-shirt that much, but I always liked the words. Think on.

 
10 Weirdest Knitting Projects

Knitting things other than clothing isn’t that unusual, as we’ve all seen crochet tea cosies and knitted animals, but here are 10 other knitting projects that might surprise you.

 
Make Your Own Touchscreen Gloves!

Didn’t say I was an expert. [At anything.] But these do the job. Instructions: Buy cheap gloves Cut fingertip off the gloves for whichever fingers you use on your touchscreen. Put gloves on. Touch screen. Gasp in technoshock and awe as your bare fingertip works just like a bare fingertip.

 
S/S 2012 Fashions I Won't Be Following...

Now, I’m not sure if it’s just that I’m deeply untrendy, or whether fashion has crawled back up its own arsehole and died, but there are some trends I simply will not be doing. Ever, if I can help it.

 

OK, I keep getting asked about fetish images and bdsm in particular, so here’s a quick guide to what I’ve got for you:

 
Image of the Week: Infinite Sadness by miskan

Want to Win Image of the Week? Send me the URL to your image, or email me the file as an attachment if you prefer. I’m on Facebook and Twitter and my email is mi@machiavelliid.com. Give me whatever info you like about you or your image. That’s it.

 
Beach Holiday Fashions

Although the temptation may be to pack light, when you’re going on holidays it’s important to make sure that you’ve got all of the fashion essentials.

 

My corduroy jeans. I bought 4 pairs in about 2002 and I still have 2 of them. They’re worn so thin you can see my skin through the fabric in places, and there are holes in the seams, but…

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