How My Boobies Got Involved in Canadian Politics
Like I said the other day, I had this organic search traffic spike. Lots of people looking for Mike Crawley showed up, the majority of them from Google image search.
About 20 hours later, I saw the news that Mike Crawley has been named as the new leader of the Liberal Party of Canada….
What this essentially means is that a whole lot of people were doing a quick spot of internet research on Mike Crawley, maybe looking for a picture of him to include with their blog post or news story, when they crashed into a couple of my photos along the way and got, um, distracted. “Important stuff, politics… oh look, boobies!” and so on.
So, if you’re here looking for Mike Crawley, Canadian politician, you just missed him.
If you want Mike Crawley AKA Photofrenetic, erotic nude and artistic nude photographer, then check out the gallery or visit his website.
That is all.
Pervs.
Related articles
- WTF Happened There? (machiavelliid.com)
- Liberals end 2012 convention with internal changes, new president, resolution … – Toronto Star (thestar.com)
Five Crazy Rulers in History
***** This is a guest post by Terry Ford *****
We’ve had some crazy times with American Presidents over the years, but it’s been nothing compared to some of the rulers in ancient history. With the upcoming U.S. election, it’s time to take a look back. And let’s at least be grateful we haven’t had to live under the reign of some of these crazy guys (and girls).
1. Caligula
Roman Emperor from 37 AD to 41 AD, Caligula began his reign as a beloved ruler and a supporter of the people. He granted bonuses to the military and put on gladiator shows for the public. When financial troubles hit Rome, Caligula began falsely accusing and killing some citizens in order to gain their estates. He started auctioning off the lives of gladiators. He ordered lavish construction projects in the midst of famine. He soon began insisting that people worship him as a living god. He was said to sleep with other men’s wives and brag about it, prostitute his sisters, indulge in hedonistic sexual pursuits, and order people to be killed for pleasure whenever he felt like it. He even appointed his horse as a senator and a priest of a church.
2. Sultan Ibrahim I
Sultan of the Ottoman Empire from 1640 to 1648, he was said to be depressed and insane. During his rule, it was essentially his mother who controlled the empire for him. He was obsessed with obese women, and he even appointed one of them, a 330-pound girl he called “Sugar Bit,” Governor General of Damascus. When he found out that some of his prostitutes had been with another man, he had 280 girls from his harem drowned.
3. Queen Maria I
The Queen of Portugal from 1777 to 1816, Maria I was always depressed and maniacally religious. She was a good ruler until she was deemed insane in the later part of her rule. She would often go into fits of delirium, and when her husband died, she forbade any entertainment in the court. At the yearly state festivities, she essentially sucked out all the fun and made them more like religious ceremonies. After she began getting treatment for her craziness, she stopped being an active ruler and would lie around all day screaming.
4. Crown Prince Sado
Sado was Prince of Korea from 1735 to 1762, and he was reported to abuse his servants, kill people and rape women on a whim. It was suspected that he became crazy after suffering from the measles when he was seventeen years old. He terrorized his court, and eventually his father the King ordered him killed. Crown Prince Sado was sealed inside of a rice chest, and he died after eight days.
5. Joanna of Castile
Joanna was Queen of Castile and Queen of Aragon in the early 16th Century. This area is now modern day Spain. Joanna was nicknamed “Joanna the Mad.” Historians believe she suffered from severe depression, or possibly schizophrenia. She was paranoid that nuns were out to kill her, and she often refused to eat or bathe. When her son became King, he forced her into confinement. It is said that when her husband died, she insisted on keeping his rotting corpse with her at all times.
*****
Terry Ford and her team at Grammarly grammar checker love collecting quirky lists and sharing on the web.
It’s been a fucking riot. You twats.
Yesterday we heard there was a tiny attempt at a mob looting in our overpopulated suburban town centre. This may have something to do with the recent riots in Tottenham and outwards, but I suspect it has more to do with the fact that too many people in this town and others are bored, sulky twats who think the world owes them a living just for existing.
Harsh? Only a bit.
True? Listen, I used to be one of those bored sulky twats. I know what I’m talking about.
I wouldn’t have started a riot, but I can remember watching the Rodney King riots in LA on my TV screen and thinking something along the lines of “hell yeah”. Before I grew up, I saw it differently – rioters were righteous, the authorities unjust, oppressive and reactionary. I assumed this unless it was explicitly shown to be otherwise. Because I was a twat.
Before I grew up, I threw rocks [small ones! pebbles! but I still did it] at another kid in a riverbed, just because the other kids from school were doing it already. He was an unpopular kid. The thought of what we did makes me sick now, but at the time I did it without thinking. Because I was a child and a bit of a twat.
The problem isn’t that riots get started by a group of angry people whose tempers have frayed to hell. The problem is that riots are propagated by further groups of people who see a chance for a creepy admixture of depersonalised retribution and entertainment.
You are thoughtless wankers. You’ve burned homes, taken lives, and stolen from an economy that’s already been fucked every which way. And it’s not just you. Almost every talking head and chav-on-the-street has annoyed me with their general lack of a proper grasp on the situation. The world hates your face. All of you.
You’ve stood in front of TV cameras braying about respect and shitty policing [riot supporters] or social deprivation and lack of opportunity [middle-class think-gooders] or criminal gang culture and appropriate response weapons [politicians have been far less supportive of domestic rioting than they were of recent violent uprisings on the other side of the world].
The Animal asks me, if the rioters had a problem with the government then why didn’t they go to attack the government? And I tell him,
*sigh* Because they haven’t got a problem with the government, they’ve got a problem with everything that isn’t them and theirs. Frequently got problems with those, too.
*double sigh* Because they don’t in fact know where the fuck to find “the government”. Most of them have never attempted political action of any kind before. Many of them are, however, familiar with fighting and breaking shit up to relieve tensions and resolve disagreements in subcultural politics.
We’re all tired. I’ve got a cold [this has nothing to do with anything, really, but adds to my overall feeling of impatience and weariness]. Just stop being complete fucking idiots and fuck off home, yeah?
Related articles
- The Psychology Of A Rioter (huffingtonpost.com)
- British PM Misses Point of Social Media, Threatens Ban (readwriteweb.com)
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