OK, I keep getting asked about fetish images and bdsm in particular, so here’s a quick guide to what I’ve got for you:
First off, stop calling it a hospital bag. You’re not an invalid, for fuck’s sake – you’re about to heroically expel a small human being from your body. That’s a survival kit you’re preparing.
Should anyone want a way to get to the baby-related stuff without passing through the unlikely wastelands of my modelling career, sex life and other unmentionables that I mention from time to time: you can now go straight there by clicking the “Crash Test Baby” link in the nice short menu at the top right of the page. Or just bookmark it, it’d probaby be easier. I’m bound to swear and talk about NSFW subjects sooner or later, no matter what category you visit, but I promise there’ll be no naked pics in the Crash Test Mummy category so visually [...]
Things that have made me yay/lol/:-O/wtf/ha!/etc: Giant clothes swap at Bigwardrobe.com. Having Sex: It’s All in Your Head (Wired.com) The neurochemistry of shagging. Warner Bros Sued for Pirating Anti Piracy Technology (The Escapist.com) Raised a ha! and a bit of a lol. Do we clamp the umbilical cord too soon? (ScienceDaily.com) Evidence that clamping should be delayed in normal births to maximise transmission of stem cells, clotting factors and whatnot to the child. Eat bacteria to boost brain power (NewScientist.com) Playing in the dirt & eating mud makes you smarter. Official.
With thanks to mum for the loan of her kitchen and her feather duster thingy… These pics are from my second fetish shoot with Brian Southam (Brian2008 on modelling networks, should you want to look him up). They were taken just 4 days before I gave birth, and I’d already had another shoot earlier that day, hence me being proper knackered and wasting a few captures by looking half asleep. Fortunately Brian’s one of the most easygoing togs I’ve worked with, so he pretended not to notice the huge dark circles under my eyes while I dusted, washed up, handcuffed [...]
Long story short: the baby arrived 20 minutes before the midwife did. Friday 9th April, 05:00 - I can’t sleep. I’m sitting in the bathroom with the laptop & a cup of raspberry leaf tea, putting together a “hospital bag” list and some notes for the Animal about what I do & don’t want during labour. 06:00 – I go to bed with a niggling sense of things being unfinished. 12:00 – We get up and stagger kettlewards. I have mild menstrual-cramp-like pains in my abdomen every half hour or so, but I’ve had those sporadically for the last few days [...]
I haven’t done the dishes, I have a stockpile of one (1) nappy that I was given as a free sample, and the choice of food left in the cupboard is noodles or cake. I rarely cook, and I’ve eaten more Pizza GoGo leftovers this month than I did all last year. The baby’s estimated due date is in a week and a half. I’m still taking a booking for a photo shoot two days beforehand, because I’ve convinced myself the baby will be considerately late. I have no nesting instinct. Why do I not feel any sense of urgency [...]
Here we are at the end of 2009, or here I am anyway – dunno where/when you’ll be when you read this but I hope it’s all good. Time now to do the Janus thing & take a look at the passing and incoming years… Things I’ve enjoyed in 2009: My work, both writing and modelling. My friends and family, who I often ignore but do love very much. Some decent films – Law Abiding Citizen was one of my favourites, and District 9 was highly engaging for such a simple narrative. Avatar was fairly unoriginal but very nice to look at. Gamer was much less [...]
I look at photos like this, and I feel lucky to have had such an amazing time in the last year. I’ve worked some great shoots, visited nifty places, hung out with wicked cool people, and now I’m having a baby with my man Animal. Life is a bizarre sweet & sour mix of a mess that likes to brick me in the head whenever I get complacent or self-pitying. This is a good thing.