Kinect for Windows is here!
Not that we have it yet, you understand. It only came out on the 1st of February, and in America, but I’m looking forward to the day I can edit blogs and sort out spreadsheets just by talking and waving my hands in the air.
Check out the basic info on the Microsoft Kinect for Windows website, if you’re curious.
S/S 2012 Fashions I Won’t Be Following…
I was at the shops yesterday & bought a Company magazine – special new redesign, promo price of £1, no idea what’s changed about it other than the crinkly “real feel” paper. Now, I’m not sure if it’s just that I’m deeply untrendy, or whether fashion has crawled back up its own arsehole and died, but there are some trends I simply will not be doing. Ever, if I can help it.
Not Doing: Denim Boilersuits
I last wore one of these in 1987; you can’t make me go back there. I was only 10, I didn’t know what I was doing. I thought [wished] it made me look cool like Ripley in Alien, but I was a kid digging holes in the woods, and a jumpsuit wasn’t going to turn me into a hardcore grown-up heroine. Baggy but not comfortable, inconvenient to change or adjust layers, and there’s no way in hell I’d pay Wrangler or anyone else £135 for making me look like an extra from an archetypal sci-fi engineering room.
Not Doing: 7/8ths Length Jeans
Listen, my legs are long. If I wore jeans that stopped above my ankle bone, I’d have inches of exposed ankle getting hypothermia. Also, it’d look like I’d stolen them from a 12 year old. As it is, I usually wear boots that reach at least mid-calf, so the whole thing would be pointless because nobody would see my on-trend leg length anyway.
Not Doing: Feather Mini Skirts
Because my arse was not built to be a pom-pom. And because if I was going to wear a feather skirt, I’d want bloody great melodramatic peacock feathers rather than that fluffy fringy stuff.
On the upside, leopard print is cool still/again. Boy boots and brogues with big brothel-creeping workwear soles are a thing. And there are ads in there for new extra-big bottles of Aussie Miracle Moist, which is one of the few conditioners my hair will cooperate with.
Related articles
- Style Tip: Wear Rolled Up Denim and Ankle Boots Like Rachel Bilson (ldvfashionfix.com)
- Mischa Barton in Leopard Jeans (denimblog.com)
Gun sales banned for Xbox Live Avatars
I’ve just found out on OXM online that the Gears of War Lancer and Hammerburst avatar items are no longer available on Xbox LIVE Marketplace. Apparently a new policy came into effect for all gun-like avatar accessories on the Xbox Live Marketplace from January 1, 2012.
If you’ve already bought guns for your avatar, you should still have those, but it looks like you won’t be getting any more. What a load of bollocks!
I am an adult Xbox 360 gamer and I don’t see the point of this ban. They put age limits on these gun games so why don’t they have the age limit thing on the avatar items if it’s that much of a problem? That way the people who don’t want their children playing around with TOY guns will be able to stop their kids’ avatars holding pictures of guns too. Lol.
I have six children and think it’s fair enough people don’t want their kids thinking its OK to play with real guns. Some parents think it’s bad to play with toy guns too. It’s not real when you play these GAMES. I mean come off it what’s next, are they going to ban kids from playing with toy guns and water pistols at all hmmm?
At the end of the day the avatars are only pictures and it’s safe to say kids have seen pictures of guns before, all over the place. And if they can still see guns on some Xbox Live avatars, given that guns already bought won’t be taken away, then what’s the point?
Army ads show men with guns all the time and show them as heroes – kids see that on TV all the time completely independent of anything Microsoft might do. I personally support the military because they’re sacrificing a lot to protect us, but if seeing pictures of people with guns is so bloody bad for kids, then surely everyone should stop advertising that way? Don’t be daft.
I’ve got a poster on our wall at home of Call of Duty characters holding guns and I don’t believe it does any psychological harm to my kids to see that piece of artwork. BIG DIFFERENCE between real life and games, BIG DIFFERENCE between interactive games and pictures.
***** 4nim4l *****
Related articles
- OXM story: Report: Gun sales to be illegal for Xbox Avatars starting New Year’s Day.
- Marvel Releases Superhero Items To Xbox Live Avatar Marketplace (splashpage.mtv.com)
- Xbox Live Avatar Marketplaces gets tattoos (vg247.com)
Graze: snacks delivered to your door [get a box free!]
This is how bourgeois I’ve become. These snack boxes are nifty!
You give them your info via their website & tell them which of their snacks you like the sound of; they pack a selection in a recycled cardboard box and post it to you.
My first graze box
All the snacks in your box are listed on a little leaflet with ingredients (fairtrade, organic & so on), some nutritional health info, calorie counts (often lower than a slice of buttered toast), etc. It’s ace.
Get a Free Graze Box
I got a voucher code for a free Graze box [thanks, Ocado], and then I got a free trial link from the Graze people to share with my friends, so you can get a free box too.
Click here to order your free Graze box, and type this free trial code in if you’re asked for one: XF1RCB8
Oh, and don’t get confused if the Graze website calls me Sophie – that’s my real name.
If you like your free box & want another one, they may well still be offering the 2nd box half price, too. Get in!
Heads up for a girly new sex toy dealer!
Just a quick one (fnar) to let the girly girls know about Pretty Little Sex Toys, an inoffensive new online sex toys & accessories store.
They’re very pink and feminine, with a compact ‘n’ bijou range of favourite classics instead of a huge warehouse full of alarming things you can’t identify at first glance. If you like the idea of sex toys or gentle bondage play, but don’t want to have to trawl through loads of fetish gear / toys for men / “realistic” veiny fake cocks, then this is the site for you.
They’re polite enough that you could send even a fairly twitchy boyfriend there to buy you a gift, safe in the knowledge that he won’t think you’re replacing him with a high-tech fuck-robot, and he also won’t be able to buy you anything disappointingly tacky (like he easily could in, for example, Ann Summers). Win-win.
If, however, you like your sex stuff freaky, filthy and fetish [huzzah!], then you might want to look elsewhere – more on that another day.
Image credit: Last NYC Hero
Related articles
- Random Ridiculousness: Woman Arrested For Assaulting Girlfriend With Strap On Sex Toy (bossip.com)
- How often should you clean your sex toys (wiki.answers.com)
Image of the Week: Infinite Sadness by miskan
A beautiful, emotive expression on a completely inanimate object. Lovely.
You can see more of miskan‘s work on Flickr.
Want to Win Image of the Week?
Send me the URL to your image, or email me the file as an attachment if you prefer. I’m on Facebook and Twitter and my email is mi@machiavelliid.com. Give me whatever info you like about you or your image. That’s it.
[No guarantees that I'll ever publish it, or that I'll repeat what you say about it word-for-word. But if I like your image or your thinking, it's in.]
Question: “What’s the oldest piece of clothing you still wear?”
My corduroy jeans. I bought 4 pairs in about 2002 and I still have 2 of them. They’re worn so thin you can see my skin through the fabric in places, and there are holes in the seams, but I love them and I hate almost every pair of trousers I see in the shops right now, so they’ll do for a while longer.
Is too much makeup bad for your health?
This is a guest post by Jennifer Adams of Shouting in Digital.
When you’re feeling a little shy, there’s nothing like slicking on a little lipstick and mascara for improving your mood. In fact, there are some days when I’m happy to just plaster it on, especially if I’ve got a particularly big night out or important work appointment. It’s a good way to feel a little braver, as well as perk up your appearance. However, recent studies about some products have got me thinking – could wearing too much makeup actually be bad for your health?
Of course, the idea really got me a bit worried – after all I’ve been wearing the stuff for years now! – so I started doing a little research, to see what I could find out about the products that crowd my makeup bag.
First things first, I had a look for articles that talked about makeup and your skin. There has been anecdotal evidence for years that has suggested that some makeup can be bad for your skin, especially if you already suffer from conditions such as acne or irritation. However, after having a good look at a couple of sources, I found quite a lot of evidence to suggest that, for the majority of the time, makeup shouldn’t damage the health of your skin.
What does seem to matter is the quality of the makeup you buy. If you are only using cheap makeup that makes use of harsh chemicals, you’re far more likely to find you’re suffering from clogged pores and irritated skin. One of the best ways to determine how good or bad a specific product may be for your skin, is to look at the label! Animal testing should be a red flag right away – because if they are using ingredients they have to test on animals, they must be ingredients where there’s something to worry about, right?
I did manage to find a few scare stories, which suggested that wearing too much makeup could be responsible for all kinds of health problems, but none of them seemed to have any facts to back them up. What’s more, these days, it feels as though pretty much everything is bad for you if you do it in excess. If you’re worried though, a good way to set your mind at rest is to try and plump for organics and natural products as often as possible, as it’s artificial chemicals that most scientists seem to be worried about.
Overall, I’d say the key things I learned on this little investigation were: don’t buy generic brands from untrusted providers – stick to more trustworthy brands like MAC and Benefit instead, always have a look at the label and remember that moderation is key. When you put your makeup in the morning, don’t trowel it on so thickly you can barely recognise yourself. Instead apply lightly and allow your skin to breathe, after all, they say less is more for a reason!
*****
Jennifer Adams is a part of the digital blogging team at shoutingindigital.com who write about subjects like MAC on behalf of a growing number of retail brands. To keep up to date with the latest in shopping and retail news, check out my posts at Shouting in Digital or visit my Twitter account, @shoutingid.
Image credit: stars&rockets
Marvel vs Capcom 3 (Xbox 360)
Overall rating: 1/5
Best points: lots of playable characters; controller configuration
Worst points: no 3D gameplay; can’t see opponent during special moves
I hired Marvel vs Capcom 3 from Lovefilm rather than buy it outright. I was looking forward to this title coming out, but was really disappointed after having a few goes on it. I hoped it would’ve had the same type of stuff as Mortal Kombat vs DC Universe had going for it, with 3D fighting and Freefall fighting. But Marvel vs Capcom 3 is all 2D gaming until you do your special moves…
Then it’s still just 2D gameplay, really, but with graphic effects that make it look more three dimensional. You can still only move in one straight line. The whole screen lights up around your avatar on a black background, and you can’t see the other player’s avatar because it gets hidden by flashy lighting. So you can’t tell if you’re hitting your opponent, and they can’t see their own avatar at all!
Me and a few of my friends got very bored very quickly, and this game reminds me of the 1990s Street Fighter days. I still think the original Street Fighter games are quality, but games nowadays need to be moving on – that was like over 10 years ago. Is it me, or are they going backwards not forwards with their thinking on some of these new games?
I know it’s easy for someone like me to comment on someone’s pride and joy of a game and slag it down, but it’s true: I think it’s crap. Gutted.
***** the Animal *****
Design a sex toy, win £1000 AND get it made!
My favourite sexy shop LoveHoney is running its “Design A Sex Toy” competition again. They’ve already facilitated the invention and production of the amazing Sqweel oral sex simulator for women, and now they’re looking for this year’s most innovative sex toy design from you.
I’ve hardly got time to even think about sex, let alone come up with drawings and descriptions of imaginary toys, so I’m relying on you rabble. Dream up something amazing. Design the toy you always wanted. Better yet, design the toy I always wanted. That way I can buy one when you win.
For those of you who, like me, aren’t going to get an entry in (fnar!) this year… if you’ve got any good ideas, share them in the comments section and maybe someone can turn them into a winning design.
If I could have anything designed for me, I think I’d go for some kind of sensory deprivation & restraint system built into a comfy sex lounger with uptilted ends and a soft but supportive midsection. Supple, black, shiny materials. Velvety facings. No leg restraints (I just don’t get on with them). Multi-position wrist cuffs and a few D-rings for hooking extra bits to. Loose accessories: blindfold (not an airline-freebie-style “eye mask”), earplugs, thick soft gloves, silk hood with a soft cuff around the neck. I like the classics.
You have your brief. Go, design, win! And when you do, call it the Machiavelli. ;-)
A rant about toilet paper quality
I’ve got a stinking cold & am reduced to using toilet roll to stem the torrent issuing from my nostrils. This has led me to notice the scratchy-yet-structurally-weak quality of our latest multipack of toilet rolls.
We bought them from a supermarket known for its low prices and copycat brands. Let’s call it, say, ALDI. Bloody Aldi. Every time we go in there, we spend ten times as much as I expected and still come out thinking we’ve saved money.
The issue I have with their bogroll is this: the packet says something like “Super Softy Luxury soft toilet roll”. The paper is not soft. Neither is it remotely luxurious. Now I’m annoyed. All I really wanted was something cheap to wipe my arse on, but you promised me super softy luxury and you let me down.
When I buy cheap toilet rolls that are labelled “Extra Value economy rubbish” and come in basic packaging, I expect to get economy rubbish and I’ve never been disappointed.
Don’t make promises you won’t keep.
And don’t use cheap tissue when you have a cold – the pain is never worth the gain.
Baby consumers
Nice ambiguity.
Why is there such a mountain of things I apparently need or should want for the baby? Changing tables, sterilisers, strollers, matching hat-bib-and-booties sets, rockers, bouncers, cots, baskets, mats, mobiles, baby monitors (with webcam and Skype!), tiny training shoes, nursing cushions (haven’t I got those already? I’m sure I saw some in my bra the other day).
How did babies survive before all this crap existed? Can’t they just sleep in a cardboard box & play with a piece of cloth? Will I be a terrible, miserly mother if I don’t think my baby needs so much stuff? Can’t I make a mobile myself, instead of buying one that’s been designed to look better from the side than it will to the baby looking up at it?
Then there’s the maternity stuff: an entire wardrobe of clothes you’ll only be wearing for a few months, and an armoury of equipment and general clutter. Breast pumps. TENS machines. Pads and creams of various kinds. Special pillows. Unfathomable brassieres that seem to have been designed for ugliness and lack of support. Hippie books about yoga, meditation, aromatherapy and such for pregancy and birth. Draconian books about sleeping and feeding schedules, potty training, and how to punish and/or viciously ignore your child if they do stuff you don’t like. Inflatable birthing pools (actually, I quite want one of those - it’d be nice to have the occasional family bath after the birth… But I’ll get mine on ebay).
I like to think I’m intelligent and tenacious enough to figure most stuff out after a while. I sat and gawped in befuzzlement for a good couple of hours last night at a popular mother&baby catalogue, trying to grasp the principles governing the pricing: what’s included and what has to be bought separately; what HAS to be bought separately if you don’t want the main purchase to be rendered pointless, as opposed to what’s being upsold and was pointless from the start (witness the vastly overpriced bedding with the twee cartoon puppy, retailing at a slightly higher price than the actual cot it’s being suggested for). Eventually I tore out a couple of pages, chucked the rest in the recycle bin, and gave up trying to grok the mindset of the rich, idle mother-to-be who actually wants and buys all that shit.
I promise I won’t put the baby in a cardboard box to sleep. As a playpen, though, maybe…
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